[x]

Crying and SmilingAs I cry I smile. No my tears are not ones of happiness; instead they are of great sorrow. So why do I smile. That answer brings more tears to my bloodshot eyes. I smile because I am thinking of you, love. I am thinking of all the times we had together and I am thinking about all the times that we won't have together. My mind wanders back into my old thoughts. I used to think we were going to get married and have beautiful children that would have your green eyes, but you are gone and I will never be able to have you again. That makes me cry, but the thought of you alive and smiling makes me so happy and I know that you are now happier than e

Your DestinySick and tired of pleasing the same man every night
But don’t want to deal with having another fight
Lost your wings that would allow you to take flight
Dead in the world that ignores your every word
Befriended the ghosts that have suffered your fate
Still you realize that you’re far too late

You cry in my arms as you accept your destiny
Lost in the charms filled with ecstasy
Crushed by the sorrow sugar-coated by love
Trapped in a box with no escape to the world
Your hunt for freedom is little more than a dream
That you already know is forever out of your grasp

Heartbroken and lonely you tried to take your life
Only to stop when

Paper LimbsThe compliance of paper limbs
led her here.
Plunged into a sea in the sky;
painted in ink blots of possibility
but stained with the tears
of a paper crane.

A sliver of lilac moon
burned scars into hazy eyes.

Counting coloured lines
on a backdrop of failed love affairs;
Watching bleeding dawns
and the birth of stars
through a pane of tissue paper
glass.

Seeking nothing but the thrill
of cheating fate,
ignoring plans laid out by gods
who fly on silk wings;
Resisting the simplicity
of pauses
and full stops.

Her world is a road map
marked in crimson stars
and drawn in dotted lines
that lead to something—
something u

The Invisible BoyI am the invisible boy,
with the powers of the unseen.
I can vanish from sight and not reappear;
I'm truly the world's greatest hero-teen.

No criminal eyes can spot me,
and no bully can hope to be mean.
They can't push around and take lunch money,
from someone who cannot be seen.

Yes, I am the invisible boy,
who everyone just sees right through.
The one who is treated like nothing but air,
is standing right in front of you.

No words that I speak can be heard,
for my powers I cannot undo.
My cries are all whispers that are lost on the wind,
and I am never part of your view.

For I am the invisible boy,
with powers that you'll n

The Prison of LettersThe problem with letters lies in their form
No matter how crude or beautiful
Each written word tries to catch our thoughts and feelings
Colorful and fleeting
And lock them into an alphabet
Shapes we have all seen before

The most dazzling script is never more than dead weight
An anchor for our flying imaginations

[untitled 2]you always look to words for
some way to get out what you cannot but

just
sometimes

you become too bottled up for words to fit
and too incoherent
too quiet
and lost
and you just

don't know
what to do

(then highlight all, delete)

SkylarShe used to be the one
always stuck in the sky
with only the clouds to surround her

When she is upset at the world
we can see it, and the sky grows dark
and as she cries, rain sprinkles down
covering us with her tears and all her sorrow

When she is angry at the world
we can see it, and the sky is suddenly black
and as her fury grows, flashes of lightening hit
throwing punches in the ground in all her anger

When she is happy with the world
we can see it, and the clouds slowly fade away
and as her buoyancy grows, birds dance in the sky
singing along in all her blissfulness

When she is frightened with the world
we saw it, and th

Trust me.Are you okay?

Ahah. Yes I am. I'm just tired.

Tired of? Come on, talk to me.

Sigh. You don't want to know.

Yes, yes I do. I care about you. What's the problem?

Trust me. You don't want to know.

Try me.

Fine. I drag it again and again everyday on my back.

It attacks me,
Sometimes once a month,
Sometimes once in a week,
Sometimes once a day.

It ushers me,
To be braver than I am,
To do more than I possibly ever could.
And I'm okay with that, sometimes, even glad.

I feed it, I tend to it, I nurture "it's" ways, and give in all the time.

It requires too much of me, for the only way to feed it is through my blood and tears, f

My New Drug Of ChoiceWhen I was with you
My need for drugs
Slowly faded away
And I didn't want them anymore.

You were my new drug.

Not only did you numb
My pain
But you helped me see in color.

You gave me
The giggles
And you made
My world spin.

You made colors flash
And you made colors more vibrant.

You made me so high.

And when you
Left me
I wanted to use so badly.

But then
There was a note
On my door:

If you don't need drugs, you don't need him.

I should have left you
When you
Didn't want to stop using for me.

I should have seen this coming.

But I was too high to see straight.

WistfullyI want to make love
To your thoughts

I want to caress your secrets
Like what they are
Under our covers
With unlimited tenderness
And a touch of shame

I want to reach down your throat
And pull out your desires,
String them along
One by one
Like pearls
Until I can hold them in my hands
And admire their shine

I want to crush your dreams
Under the certainty of the future
So intensely
And so deeply
They turn into diamonds
And when you speak your words
Of love
I can admire the facets we cut together

I want to know you intimately
In ways not spoken of
Outside of a poet's dream
And to sleep inside them
Until I sleep in your

All We Need Is HopeSo I wake up, to a new day
I should appreciate
But I don't
The air, so fresh and cold
Seems to poison me
With each breath I draw in
I seem to swallow bitter pills
And I choke on all my pride
I should slow down and listen

Just listen to that little voice
That actually matters

Always pay attention to
To all those little miracles
That change your life forever
Just every day you manage to survive
Be happy that you're alive!
You and I
We should slow down
And spend a happy time
Just let this life shine bright!

It doesn't matter, I know it too well
But still we're bothered, still we care
We spit out hate
To the ones who scare us
To those who see

It's a part of me #1I have these moments, when I feel incredibly lonely. I am absolutely sure, that when I die, no one will notice.
So I try to be more outgoing, blaming all these lonesome feelings on my shyness.
I start some small talks with classmates, with those who seem nice.
And I manage to build up friendships, to get out with them and so on.
I socialize.
But after a couple of months...I know by heart that these people are strangers, not friends.
That I know their stories, and they know mine.
That they spend part of their precious time with me.
But that I don't truly know them.
That I don't feel connected to these people I wish I could call my fri

Is this a prison?Are we always going to be stuck here?
It's cold and damp and dark,
Lies is just all that we hear,
Branded with a hot mark.

"This isn't a prison," they said.
"We're just here to help you."
"Without us, you'd be dead."
Our faces had lost all the red rue.

Sad eyes cast down,
It hurts,
Let's don a frown,
Those dirty perverts!

What happens when I don't talk?
Talk to me like I'm crazy,
Can't I just refuse and baulk?
The world is hazy.

Ah, this just too tiring,
My tools are gone.
I'm finally expiring,
Bathe in blood in the dawn.

My Scars from LifeI feel the scars
on my soul
will never fade away.
The cut are so deep
that they won't ever heal.
The wounds are from battle
with myself and others
And from carrying burdens
I was not meant to carry.
What has the world done to me?
Why has it scarred me this way?
More importantly,
What scars did you contribute?

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Submitted: December 28, 2012
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Un-Cliche

by =TheWritingDragon, Dec 28, 2012, 9:21:01 AM
Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Songs & Lyrics

Once upon a time
Is how the story begins
But what if time
Was left hanging in the distance?

There was a princess
A meager slave
A girl and a boy
The prince saves the day

Why does it have to be this way?

(Chorus)
Let's stay
Un-cliché
Love at first sight
Isn't just a right
When all you've ever
Had to do is fight
Kissing in the rain
And brushing off the pain
Because "I can't live without you"
Is all they ever say

But you and I, let's stay
Un-cliché

It starts off with a hatred
Or some other form of plain indifference
When all you've ever wanted
Is love with someone, anyone but him

And soon you find yourself
Stuck in the middle
With nowhere left to run
And you both fall
It goes from nothing
To something in an instant
Nothing matters anymore
Cause now you have it all

But let's stay
Un-cliché
Love at first sight
Isn't just a right
When all you've ever
Had to do is fight
Kissing in the rain
And brushing off the pain
Because "I can't live without you"
Is all they ever say

So you and I, we can stay
Un-cliché

The climax
To the last dance
The heartache
When the heart breaks
Come back and right all the wrongs
Before you're empty handed and she's gone

Quick, before it happens again, stay
So we can be un-cliché

Cause things were once a disaster
But then they all lived happily ever after

Un-Clicheby =TheWritingDragon

Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Songs & Lyrics

Please give me feedback on this!

I really like it and spent a lot of time putting it together

Critique by `OfOneSoul Jan 6, 2013, 11:42:45 AM

Hello, my dear!

First off, I'd like to state that I'm actually going to be critiquing this piece as a part of ^Beccalicious' Cristmas is here! (Contest). But don't be afraid... it means nothing.

I like to start my critiques off with an overall impression of the piece before I get down to the dirty bits of constructive feedback.

Overall - I loved the vision you had for this. It is clear what you were trying to get across which is good in writing. I found the concept charming & original from the norm; as a reader, I am grateful you shared this with the dA Community.

Now for the good points I saw in your writing:

Songwriting

It is not very often that I come across a song & lyrics deviation and think to myself, "Hmm, that'd make a good song." I did, however; with this piece. I think that not only would this make a lovely song but that you could continue to write songs just as successful as this one. You have a real talent for creating a beat without any music and that's something to be proud of.

Rhyme-Scheme

To be honest - I usually abhor writing that rhymes. Most of the time I find it annoying and cliche. It worked for your piece, however; because not only is it meant to be a song - it created a beat that is musical-like and attributes to your overall purpose. Your words are well-chosen and charming.

Now for the constructive parts.

Punctuation

Poetry in general is a pretty free, creative format that anyone can mold and change as they wish. However; there are some things in poetry that I prefer (as a reader) to see and that I find helps the appearance and cleanliness of a poem.

I noticed in your poem that you capitalized every sentence even if it were the continuation of the last line. I generally like to see lines like this UN-capitalized. Let me give you an example stanza to show you what I mean:

Once upon a time
Is how the story begins
But what if time
Was left hanging in the distance?

Instead I would write it as:

Once upon a time
is how the story begins.
But what if time
was left hanging in the distance?

This is just a suggestion, however; so feel free to disregard it if you wish.

Overall my dear - this was a creative piece that only lacked in technique. What's good is that you have the natural part, all you need to do is work on developing your skills. Keep it up, my dear!

*OfOneSoul

What do you think?

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2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

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*pinkydoaka Dec 28, 2012

i read it through the tears in my eyes. you really have something here. seriously. you really have something here!

=TheWritingDragon Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

OH MY GAWD REALLY?!?!

*pinkydoaka Dec 28, 2012

truly.

~archangel1012345 Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

oo, frech word

=TheWritingDragon Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

~archangel1012345 Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

*french XD

~Feanor-the-Dragon Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Wooo! Down with the cliche!
Seriously though, very nice! You should put this to music!

=TheWritingDragon Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

awwww thank you so much!!!

I'm glad you liked it, Feanor

I'm trying to get this suggested as a Daily Deviation because I like it that much

~xXTHE-ICE-WOLFXx Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

wow~ i think this is really cool! i was reading it in the thumbnail at first because my mouse just happened to scroll over it and it caught my attention! i don't really check the mail from 'Rising Artists' much because there's so much to go through but this was really worth it! keep up the great work! i think i'm going to go check out your gallery now. XD have a nice day!~

=TheWritingDragon Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

awwwwwwww thank you so much!!!

This comment made my day and I'm very glad you like my writing

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